Corporations are people, my friend

Everybody knows that. They’re born in Maryland, incorporated in Delaware and then are given free reign to spread their wings nationwide, collecting all the money they can to fulfill their life’s only purpose: to contribute unholy amounts to presidential campaigns and then have meltdowns on national television when their guy gets beaten by the other guy. Duh.

But this is Socialist ObaMerica and apparently no one told this to hoity-toity Officer Troy Dorn of the California Highway Patrol, who presumably driving his fancy hybrid motorcycle pulled over God-fearing Real American Jonathan Frieman “a 56-year-old San Rafael resident and self-described social entrepreneur”, which, for those of you who only watch the liberal media, is what a Real American is, and gave him a ticket for driving in the carpool lane without another passenger.

Now, my friends, will someone please sit Officer Troy Dorn (what kind of name is that? He sounds foreign. He’s a European lazy hipster I bet.) down and explain to him that here, in Ammurrica, corporations are people, my friend. And what that means in American English is that they are free to overeat, underexercise and mooch off of welfare just like all Americans are.

So let’s sign a petition to send Officer Dorn and his socialist comrade in cahoots Traffic Jurist Frank Drago back to Russianistan or wherever they came from and let all Freedom Loving Americans like Frieman – can we spell his name Freeman? I’m just going to go ahead and do that now – Freeman drive around in their Mississippi built Kia’s with their Fair and Balanced Real American Friend, Mr. Paper O. Incorporation.

Now that’s a real American name if I ever heard one. Now everyone get up off your lazy 47% asses and stand up and salute the Great First American RoboPresidentWhoWasBeforeHisTime:

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