These crumbs are wishing you a happy new year

Life is like a box of choc-oh now I'm sad

Unlike last year’s new year’s eve explosion of completely useless posts that no one read and I barely remember writing, this year I’ve decided that there’s no better way to ring in the new year than with a reminder of how wonderful and crazy the internet is. So, the final “crumbs” edition of 2010, brought to you by Sad Keanu:

• Let me see you naked: the most recurring theme in all searches, which just goes to confirm the “theory” that the internet would not exist without nudity and porn.
• you rock: yes, yes I do, don’t I?
• you know you’re screwed when: see next entry
• fuck: QED
• what day is Caturday: Really? You haven’t been paying attention to anything I’ve said? Every day is Caturday. In fact, Caturday was the most searched word of all-time. Ever. Just goes to show that the internet actually couldn’t exist without cats doing funny things and porn.
• April 17 1996: According to Wikipedia, that day does not exist.
• Conviction rates of whites to blacks: I believe the word you’re looking for is conversion.
• how can rotten peach contribute to real life? when life gives you rotten peaches, you move to another state.
• officer said he would drop my charge: that bridge you bought is also worth nothing
• rehab cliparts
• guilty of creating disturbance: I think that’s what Darth Vader was when he wiped out an entire planet
• the justice system makes me want to kill myself: In Sovyet Raasha, you dont keel jaastice seestem, jaastice seestem keel you
• how do I determine whether I am practicing law in NY: well, are you?
• tv show defenders bar they drink at: Dude. It’s a show. They’re not real. You won’t meet them. Stalker.
• lege sex: awkward, cacophonous, mostly uncomfortable and you might catch someone playing solitaire in the middle of it.
• how do you find the defendant: look for the guy in a prison jumpsuit with shackles
• plea bargaining quote: $500
• show how to learn about law: that’s stupid. No one’s going to watch that show.
• kick in the groin: that’s what these posts feel like.

And that’s about all the nonsense I can tolerate. Have a Happy New Year!