If you like these things, you’re a poseur

poseurornot

That's just not cool, Bill! Poseur!

That’s right. I said it. You’re a poseur if you like…

1. You’re over 25 and you’re hooked on Facebook. Seriously, what’s that about? Start a blog or something. Facebook is for your kids.

2. Heavy metal. I thought the point of music was to understand and appreciate the music and lyrics. When was the last time you understood the words coming out of the mouth of a heavy metal-ist? And don’t say 1980, because even back then no one understood; the only difference was that everyone was high on something or the other so it didn’t matter.

3. Will Ferrell. He’s. Just. Not. Funny. At. All. I mean, seriously. The dude is crass, loud and just not funny! But, then again, if #1 applies to you, then #3 probably will too. [Fine, I'll add one exception here: SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy. But that was all Darrell Hammond.]

4. Bonus item: Anything from Starbucks. You’re paying for fancy names people. The “coffee” costs $0.35, the thought process that went into “triple-grande-mocha-frappachino-venti-ridiculato” costs $2.50. The taste is worth my $0.02.

Other things that suck: Sushi, pinot grigio and soccer.

Your turn, Heather, S and Anne. (Yes, this is some sort of silly meme. Pass it along and don’t get offended.)

36 thoughts on “If you like these things, you’re a poseur

    1. Gideon Post author

      No, I’m not saying you shouldn’t like them. I’m saying that if you do like them, then you’re a poseur.

      But really, it’s a joke. A silly meme. Sorry I called you out on your FB/Heavy Metal/Will Ferrell/Starbucks love.

      Reply
  1. FGamble

    I usually enjoy your blog, but today you sound like an old douche. And, I don’t even enjoy the things on your list.

    Reply
      1. Kerri

        Yes, you’re a flaming douche.

        But I do agree on the Will Ferrell point.

        My list (You’re an Idiot if You Enjoy):
        -cell phones
        -Bluetooth
        -Jack Black
        -basketball
        -football
        -anything wrapped in bacon

        Reply
        1. Gideon Post author

          Oh so I’m a douche as long as I don’t like something you like. I see how this works. Where’s the democracy and freedom of speech?!

          Wait, you don’t like cell phones? WTF? This isn’t 1930, woman!

          Reply
  2. Kerri

    YOU called yourself a douche. I just changed “old” to “flaming.”

    Cell phones are electronic leashes and status symbols. Bump that.

    Reply
    1. Gideon Post author

      No, FGamble called me a douche. I said I might be one.

      Can a cell phone be called a “status” symbol if 99% of the population has one?

      Reply
      1. Kerri

        Okay, it’s not the possession of the cellphone, so much as the constant use that annoys me. I hold the position that cell phones encourage anti-social behavior via uber-social behavior.

        Reply
  3. Jen

    Hm. I would agree with you about Will Ferrell, except that The Landlord skit and his impersonation of George Bush on the ranch were hilarious.

    Reply
  4. Luis

    If you changed your age on item #1 to 42 I would wholeheartedly agree with you and it would give me 3 1/2 months to get over my addiction. :-)

    Reply
  5. Julie

    You’re a poseur if:
    1. You like (and go to) Every. Single. Social. Event. at Real Art Ways, and you’re a SuperPoseur if you think it makes you cool and creative.
    2. You feel it’s appropriate to point out to your friends that biodegradable plastic silverware is available at Whole Foods *during* a party they’re hosting at which regular ol’ plastic silverware is being used.
    3. You sit in your backyard with your wireless laptop sipping espresso, reading a Japanese novel and writing an essay about being obsessed with other peoples’ obsessions. Wait. That’s me.

    Reply
    1. Gideon Post author

      Ah, I knew it wouldn’t be long before someone brought up Twitter.

      Twitter still has a year or two to go before it becomes passe and thus, its use becomes poseurated.

      Reply
      1. Julie

        A BlackBerry is a poseur iPhone.

        Another poseur clue: you go to fundraisers just to be seen at fundraisers. (Courtesy of someone who is not me.)

        Reply
  6. karl

    Gideon:

    Hate to be an arse, however, I am a Facebook junkie & an AmLaw 100 blawger (ok, rated in as such in a prior year, etc). Additionally, what do you have against sushi?

    However, I absolutely agree with you that no self-respecting person over the age of 25 should enjoy soccer unless they were born in Europe, Asia, Latin America, or Africa.

    Reply
  7. Anthony

    I can see how one preferring Starbucks (image and all) over a cheaper and perhaps better tasting coffee might make one a poseur; the same for sushi and pinot (both have been standard issue for trendy yuppie types). The decision in each case is motivated by a desire to be associated with a greater trend, a lifestyle which indulges in the ‘finer’ shitty coffees and wines. Point well taken.

    However, facebooking-over-25 is an image thing? I’d argue that publicizing one’s principled decision NOT to join facebook is more of a poseur thing than to join (esp. if the publicized statement included some more-professional-than-thou statement like ‘It’s just not what professionals do…’, ‘I simply don’t have any time to facebook…’ or something like that.).

    Also, Belechik’s hoodie makes him a poseur? What is he posing as? A slob? Or are you saying he’s trying to be dirty-chic? I think the best argument in your favor is simply ‘Who is fooling, wearing the same dirty hoodie every game? Apparently he wants us to believe he’s so engrossed in his game plans and schemes, that like Einstein, he simply doesn’t have time for even the most basic grooming.’ If that’s your point, then I think you have a case.

    Reply
    1. Gideon Post author

      Belichick’s hoodie makes it painfully obvious that he’s trying to not care. I mean, c’mon. Anyone who intentionally dresses like that wants to make it obvious that he cares about the way he looks and wants people to think that he doesn’t care.

      That – or the Einstein thing you posited.

      Reply
  8. Sancho

    I cannot lie. Well, I can, but I’m NOT lying when I say Will Ferrell was a genius as Alex Trebek. I also like the term Flaming Douche.

    Reply
    1. Gideon Post author

      Oh you know what? You’re totally right! That’s probably the only tolerable thing he’s done – although that skit belonged to “Sean Connery”.

      Reply
      1. Gideon Post author

        So are mine, but I’m not afraid to call them that to their faces. You shouldn’t be either. We need to rid the world of poseurs.

        Reply
  9. SFLawyer

    I like everything on that list except heavy metal and I also think Belichick is the man. Although I do prefer Peets to Starbucks. Since I live in San Francisco and also love Sushi and own a blackberry I think I win all douche/poseur contests hands down. I even have a facebook app on my blackberry. I do not own a small dog or a BMW however so I still have some developing to do.

    Now if you’ll excuse me I am going to go buy some happy hour oysters over a pint of organic microbrew while my friends and I discuss the Masters. Srsly.

    Reply
  10. Martin

    iPhones are great, very convenient I disagree

    This post has no point or humor, but here goes my stupid list of “poseur items” anyways:

    The show “Lost”
    If you read the NY Times and don’t live in NY
    If you read news about Sierra Leone or any other tiny developing country that doesn’t affect your life in the slightest
    Rock climbing

    Reply

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