a public defender

eye eye cap'n

How many times can one say: “It happens only in Texas” and not sound repetitive? I’m pushing the envelope here. Because, this just happened in Texas.

A man plucked and ate both his eyeballs (though not at the same time) and yet he was found competent to stand trial and be convicted of capital murder. Texas sure loves their executions (and eyeball marinara).

A condemned Texas inmate with a history of mental problems who removed his only eye and ate it in a bizarre outburst several months ago on death row lost an appeal Wednesday at the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals.

Thomas “is clearly ‘crazy,’ but he is also ‘sane’ under Texas law,” Judge Cathy Cochran wrote in a 14-page statement accompanying the court’s brief order upholding Thomas’ conviction and punishment.

Yes, that does seem to be a contradiction of terms, although I guess one can argue that the legal standard for “sane” is so damn low that even eating one’s eyeballs clears that standard.

I’m going to pause for a second here while we all collectively shudder.

Everything about this case, including the murders themselves, are truly bizarre:

Thomas, from Texoma, walked into the Sherman Police Department and told a dispatcher he had murdered the three, then told officers he put his victims’ hearts in his pocket, left their apartment, took them home, put the organs in a plastic bag and threw them in the trash. He said God had told him to commit the killings.

What’s more disturbing is the bottom line, via Grits:

The trial court and the Court of Criminal Appeals accepted the prosecution’s argument that, although Thomas “was psychotic when he committed the offense, … his psychosis was triggered by his substance abuse in the preceding days and weeks.” So he was psychotic, but it was his fault.

How can such a standard survive? A standard so low that defendants with IQs in the mid-50s are routinely found competent to stand trial. It should come as no surprise that a good percentage of inmates have mental health issues.

Read more on the Texas eyeball case here. I won’t make any eyeball jokes. The image is enough. I’m also far too classy to link to this photo (be warned: it is disturbing) (Okay, fine, if you want more Googly eyes, here’s a website dedicated to them.)