…wrote Robert Burns and it is a reality of criminal defense practice. The cross all worked out in your head – the witness trembling on the stand, your questions like a scythe cutting through their nonsensical story, the jury snickering, nay, laughing at the foolishness of this witness. A glorious not guilty verdict.

And then you come crashing to reality. The witness obfuscates. He hems, he haws, he doesn’t remember. The scythe is dull, the blows timid. The best laid plains…

I often get excited about “test cases”. The factual scenario is perfect, the law needs changing. This is the “test case”. The case that shall alter the landscape of anti-defendant legislation and jurisprudence. This is the case where the statute will be declared unconstitutional. I have it all played out in my head. Me, standing before the Supreme Court, arguing passionately, emphatically. The justices nodding their head in approval and understanding. A lucid, insightful opinion released shortly thereafter, setting right all that is wrong with the world.

Except, clients plead guilty. You sigh, nod understandingly and move on to the next case. The best laid plans…

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