a public defender

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The CT legislature’s judiciary committee is  holding a hearing on recognizing civil unions for same-sex couples today. Besides the obvious conservative opponents, there will also be opposition from a surprising group: the gay rights establishment. They say they are opposed to civil unions because they will settle for nothing less than same-sex marriage legislation.

For the past year or so, I have been dumbfounded by this particular debate. I see this as the weakest of the ‘hot-topic’ issues in our society today (others being the death penalty, abortion, social security). I do not understand what the hubbub is all about. Two men or two women marrying affects my life as much as Paris Hilton’s dog marrying Nicole Ritchie’s parrot.

I’m straight. Looking at gay men getting married isn’t going to make me not want to marry. It isn’t going to make me turn gay, much less want to marry a gay man. It simply does not affect my life. Opponents argue that marriage is defined as ‘between a man and a woman’.

Sure it is. But the question is by whom is it so defined? The meaning attributed to words can change over the course of time, with changing social mores. Undoubtedly, society’s perception of homosexuality is changing. I don’t even see it as a debate about marriage. I see it as a debate about the freedom of choice. If they choose to marry their loved one, who am I to say otherwise?

If you want to paint it as a religious no-no, then the argument against same-sex opponents becomes stronger. One of the great pillars of this society is the freedom of religion. If your religion prohibits you from "being" gay, then don’t be! That belief should in no manner be imposed onto someone who doesn’t subscribe to it.

As Jon Stewart put it, if you see a man having sex with a pinata, will that make you want to have sex with a pinata too? No. So why is homosexuality any different? I ask any and every one of you: How does same-sex marriage affect your individual life? I venture to say that the answer for all is the same (unless you’re gay): It doesn’t.

It’s a non-issue.